I awakened this morning tormented by an old shadow wound. This wound involved women ringing my parents doorbell looking for my father. My mother would get so upset and one time got in a fight with one of the women and often times got into a physical fight over this with my father. I remember cringing as a child and the fear I had that I might lose my mother to death or injury. I never understood why a woman would come to my home and disturb my household like that.
Even as I grew older I never understood why women have so much disrespect for each other. I had girlfriends and we would make plans and if a boy asked them to do something with them, they would drop everything that we had planned to go off with the boy.
In my first affair I became intimate with a male who was married, but he had lied and told me he was not. Yet he was living with a woman and I continued in the relationship. He said he didn’t really like her, but that she paid his bills. So somehow in my twisted mind, I believed that he liked me better and that I was more important than she was to him. Later I found out that he was married and I went to his home to confront him in his lie and to let his wife know that I was sorry for what I had done.
After this I determined that I would not date men who had females that they were in relationship with, whether married or not. So I dated single men and if one of my female friends showed a liking to the man, I would stop relating to him sexually and work to concretize their relationship and all of us would be friends, but I would not have sex with the man anymore.
After my near death experience with a botched abortion I concluded that I didn’t need to have sex with any man who I would not want to be the father of my child, so I became a celibate. Then I met my husband who was in the final stages of his wife divorcing him. He proposed polygamy as a way of relating given that monogamy was obviously not working. He concluded that it would be better to lock the backdoor where most relationships existed, and open the front door inviting women into the relationship and having everything above board, I agreed and for fifteen years I invited women to join my marriage. Some did, some didn’t. Some still choose to go to the back door and my husband accommodated them and even lied about what he was doing. I learned in the process to uproot fear, jealousy, competition and envy.
My husband was a very charismatic personality of world renown and women flocked to him like a magnet. Even those I invited to join our marriage came with the intention of getting rid of me. Then one woman came who was capable of being a sister to me, a wife to my husband and a mother to my children. We did not engage in threesome sex, lesbianism or anything hanky. We loved each other to the best of our ability and she and I grew together and remain sisters to this day. Other than my mother she was the only woman that I trusted to take care of my children. Even after we concluded that our husband was not committed to marriage or family we remained friends. Today my children go to her for advise and sometimes I have to find out what is going on in their lives through her. I am eternally grateful for all the heart aches and trials and tribulations I went through to finally find this gem of a sister. She is irreplaceable.
In order to get my life back after my botched abortion, I vowed to work to create a world where women do not even have to consider having an abortion. It was obvious to me that there was something that I didn’t know that caused me to get pregnant when I didn’t want to. In 1996, I began working full-time on this process. I literally turned myself over to God to provide for me, direct me and nurture me without any visible means of income. I experienced some of the most wonderful creations and have never been hungry, homeless or in danger (even though I have been in dangerous situations, as I started this journey being placed for two and a half years in hell, which was the headquarters of the most notorious street gang ever formed The El Rukns, in Chicago, IL).
Starting in 1998, I would awaken in the morning and God would channel information to me that I would write. Then I was told to prove that what was written was true. So I would seek out information to prove it and there was always proof. It got to the point where I didn’t know whether I had written something or someone else had. This material was turned into a series of charting calendars for females so that they could learn to know themselves. My motto is, “You can’t control or love what you don’t know.”
In that we as females are always going through changes we must have a way of monitoring the changes that occur. This is best done with a moon calendar. So I have created a series of moon calendars. I published two books this year, LunaQueen, The Divinely Feminine Art Of Using A Lunar Charting Calendar and LunaQueen, The Journey From Lunatic To LunaQueen. (Available at lulu.com) I have just completed, The Rise of the Free Woman 2011 Moontime Calendar, which is a true moon calendar. All of these productions are designed to empower females by the gaining of self-knowledge.
Unfortunately, I have come to find that many females do not value themselves enough to take the time to get to know them self. Most I find are too busy competing with males, comparing themselves to males, chasing males, and becoming males. Male/female conquest is the order of the day and we have yet to awaken to the beauty, majesty, honor, abundance and joy that is within us.
It is a surety that if we don’t love and respect ourselves as females and self-kind (other females) that we cannot have a successful relationship with males for they are so different from us. It is time that we free ourselves from the curse that is written of in the Holy Bible in Genesis, “And your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.” When we live under this curse we have no value, care, concern or positive intentions for our sisters. This must stop and only we have the power to stop it. Curses are not forever, they only last as long as people are unconscious to their error, which I wrote about in The Theology of Eve.
So I say to you my sister and my sisters, let us stop trampling upon each other, and each others relationships, let’s come together and learn of ourselves, so we can truly be ourselves and give birth to a new generation of people who are conceived in love and dedicated to the purpose of serving humanity and God. When we know ourselves as spirit, mind, emotion and body we have the knowledge of our cycles and we can thus be masters of them, rather than the present where the forces of the moon control us. We must come out from under the moon (sin) forces and use them for good in consciousness.
lunaqueen
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